Mike Pence, President Trump's scintillating vice president, has convinced me not to become a socialist. Instead I want to be a total capitalist, or maybe even a fascist, as that is the mortal enemy of a socialist.
This was an easy choice because Pence is so convincing. Now I oppose public education, because that's socialism. Let's sell off our public roads, highways and bridges to the Koch brothers. Free market toll roads instead of socialist roads. Sell all government buildings and public agencies contained within them to Sheldon Adelson because we know how much it costs taxpayers to keep these public services and deplorable symbols of socialism running. Indeed, free market employees providing these services instead of lazy socialist employees who just keep taking and taking.
You know our public lands, including lakes and rivers, are just another huge scam in this evil socialism. Let's just sign them over to the Trump family. They are best real estate people this nation has ever known, or any nation for that matter.
Truth is there are so many examples of deadly socialism in this fake thing Democrats call the public sector that I can't mention them all here. Let's support this important 2020 campaign to stamp out the devil's tool called socialism, so we can save our country and allow free market capitalism to run it all, like I'm sure it says in the Constitution.